(Child Abuse) To the evil, scary monster: I love you too

The scary, evil demon speaks,

“I love you” He says.

She knows and fears what will

happen

The memories.

“Everyone loves their parents.”

She must be a monster then.

Humiliated. Made Wrong. Put to shame.

Memories.

First memories ever in this life.

Being terrified. Physically unsafe. Hurt.

Belittled. Injured. Needing Compassion

and Safety.

Finding terror.

He hits her. Screams at her.

Gives her more reasons to cry.

Stories.

Even before earliest memories.

Told that he did things to her. These things which made  her cry for hours.

Such things happen every day in this world. To children. Toddlers, babies, infants.

“Parent”, “Protector” is the tyrant, the demon, the content of young nightmares.

Now. Early childhood.

Counts the days.

Counts the hours until the

evil scary monster goes on his next business trip.

She wonders,

How cold is she?

She can’t remember loving him.

Never.

The scary, evil demon speaks,

“I love you” He says.

She knows and fears what will

happen if she doesn’t lie.

She isn’t allowed to lie.

She isn’t allowed to speak the truth.

There is no safe place.

Frozen in petrified fear. There is nowhere to run or hide.

There is no escape.

She turns to the evil, scary monster.

“I love you too.”

Summoning Sweet Death

by Autumn

Oh sweetest angel,

I’m ready for a last breath

How do I summon you,

Sweet Angel of Death

This life is not enough

And yet just too much

How do I find this angel?

I just need one kiss or one touch

I want to be far from this place

A bleeding out existence called life

Called life but its really death

Shattering, burning

Just one last breath

May I please leave this place?

What must I do to see an angel’s face?

Sweet Angel, with your mercy and grace

Angel of Death, please show your face

I am ready to breathe

Only one last breath

All I need is a kiss or one touch,

Sweetest Angel of Death