The memories.
“Everyone loves their parents.”
She must be a monster then.
Humiliated. Made Wrong. Put to shame.
Memories.
First memories ever in this life.
Being terrified. Physically unsafe. Hurt.
Belittled. Injured. Needing Compassion
and Safety.
Finding terror.
He hits her. Screams at her.
Gives her more reasons to cry.
Stories.
Even before earliest memories.
Told that he did things to her. These things which made her cry for hours.
Such things happen every day in this world. To children. Toddlers, babies, infants.
“Parent”, “Protector” is the tyrant, the demon, the content of young nightmares.
Now. Early childhood.
Counts the days.
Counts the hours until the
evil scary monster goes on his next business trip.
She wonders,
How cold is she?
She can’t remember loving him.
Never.
The scary, evil demon speaks,
“I love you” He says.
She knows and fears what will
happen if she doesn’t lie.
She isn’t allowed to lie.
She isn’t allowed to speak the truth.
There is no safe place.
Frozen in petrified fear. There is nowhere to run or hide.
There is no escape.
She turns to the evil, scary monster.
“I love you too.”